[Lasso Online has not been covering professional sports leagues as frequently as we had hoped for this school year. As such, staff writer Patrick Joseph Anderson, felt inclined to write a ballad for all of the teams in the National Football League and comment on their overall season.]
When the holidays come round,
and there's snow on the ground,
everyone cheers
as it's the best time of year.
Presents galore,
but most men want more;
they want to see their team fight
on to that special Sunday night.
For all teams the regular season is done,
either the season is lost or is almost won.
So, without further ado
let's take a look back at the year in review.
The COLTS gave the '72 Dolphins a scare,
yet Peyton and company rested to prevent wear and tear.
NEW ORLEANS was led by a Saint named Brees.
Their offense gave other teams trembles in the knees.
Against Dallas, however, they would choke
which prevented Wade Phillips from going broke.
The CHARGERS had Rivers, Gates and L.T.
and should challenge the Colts for supremacy.
The VIKINGS, for once without quarterback struggles
were the class of the league until Favre became a muggle.
The PACKERS got a shot at ole' Brett twice;
they lost both; but at least Rodgers' decision making was nice.
The COWBOYS put their December issues to rest
and enter the playoffs looking like the NFC's best.
PHILLY can't seem to make up their mind
about playing well first or having to come from behind.
The PATS once again had a very strong O;
Brady, Moss and Welker can put on a show.
CINCINNATI enjoyed a revival of sorts;
yet Chris Henry's death reminded us there is more to life than sports.
ARIZONA won a weak NFC West;
but let last year remind us; they can be one of the best.
The JETS relied on D and the run,
yet only Rex Ryan's weight made watching them fun.
BALTIMORE's D was once again stout,
but if not for Ray Rice would they have panned out?
ATLANTA was ravaged by injury and bad luck,
still it was not nearly as painful as watching Chris Redman suck.
PITTSBURGH was not very consistent,
but what would you expect when your O-line is nonexistent?
HOUSTON, carried by Johnson and Schaub, finally has a reason
to celebrate, after having its first winning season.
The PANTHERS' running backs had yards galore,
but they had to run the ball, as they're QBs were Delhome and Matt Moore!
In SAN FRANSISCO Vernon Davis can finally strut,
unfortunately for him at halftime he has to see Mike Singletary's butt.
DENVER choked away an early season lead,
benching Marshall served a purpose indeed,
Orton was better than Cutler for sure,
but it's quite hard to win when your head coach is so immature.
The GIANTS looked terrible at the end,
and one can be sure that ole' Tommy is in need of a friend.
Manning was bad, the defense was struggling
and Coughlin's face was so red he belonged in a circus; juggling.
TENNESSEE started by losing six,
yet they managed to keep Chris Johnson in the mix,
2,000 yards, an impressive feat,
but with all those carries it'd be shocking to see a repeat.
In MIAMI it was the running game,
which was supposed to lead Sparano to fame,
Ricky put down the bong and returned to the NFL
but it didn't matter as Ronnie Brown tore his ACL.
In CHICAGO, Cutler was supposed to be fantastic,
instead he turned out to be overly sporadic.
26 picks and 27 TDs,
the Bears might have been better with backup Caleb Hanie.
JACKSONVILLE's fans wouldn't fill the seats,
but why would they support a team suffering four straight defeats?
They got their clocks cleaned in Seattle,
but you know a team is bad when David Garrard leads them into battle.
Everyone knew that the BILLS were awful,
so bad, it didn't matter if Lynch was unlawful.
With no QB or coach in place
watching them play football was a disgrace
The SEAHAWKS were pitiful at worst and bad at best,
it's sad when your best rusher is Justin Forsett.
At least on defense they don't have to worry,
until they have to rely on Aaron Curry.
CLEVELAND waited until late to get on a roll,
and by that point Mangini had already dug a huge hole.
They hired Mike Holmgren at the end of the year
to which the Dawg-Pound responded: "Rejoice! The end of Brady Quinn is near!"
When Bruce went down, instead of Russell the RAIDERS used Charlie Frye,
now Tom Cable wishes he punched him in the eye.
Ask Al Davis how to fix them and he'll say:
"Draft another quality athlete, like Darius Heyward-Bey!"
The REDSKINS lacked offense to say the least,
for the second year in a row, dead last in the East.
No Line, injuries and terrible coaching
led to the radical change that is fast approaching.
KANSAS CITY tried to become New England West
but their talent for the most part did not impress.
At least Jamal Charles showed the Chiefs could run the ball;
Yelled fans: "Maybe life without Tyler Thigpen isn't so bad after all!"
TAMPA BAY was just utterly horrendous,
how could a team's fall be so tremendous?
Few weapons to speak of and a terrible D,
how did Raheem Morris expect to win with a rookie QB?
The LIONS saw improvement, winning two games
But their defense stunk; their INT leader was Will James!
This team is still a long way from contending,
even Jim Schwartz is glad the season is ending.
Steven Jackson's heart couldn't get them more than one win,
Keith Null, Kyle Boller, it didn't matter which QB they had in.
This season was tough for fans in ST. LOU (IS)
at least next year they'll have Ndamukong Suh!
